Sunday, April 20, 2008

My Life as a Pick Up Artist

Age 12

Jesus, Heather Miller is so fine.  She’d only date a popular asshole though.  I’m too offbeat.  Can’t wait’ til high school.

Age 17

God, Emily Jones is banging.  I’m not going up to her though.  She’s retarded. Won’t get my sense of humor.  Can’t wait ‘til Princeton.

Age 20

Damn, these Princeton girls are beat.  I mean, Jamie Greene looks pretty good.  But she’s pretentious and into lacrosse douchebags.  Can’t wait ‘til the real world. 

Age 26 

That girl in the bar looks dece.  Though I can see the faintest hint of like impending crow’s feet when she smiles.  Shit, we’re getting old.  And she looks kinda vapid.  Wouldn’t appreciate my whole Princeton vibe.  Can’t wait ‘til we’re rich and settled.  Make the pussy come to us.


Dan said...

i dont know they all seemed pretty DTF - like those girls at Alchemy who we Almost talked to

Nostradamus said...