Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Couple Hawks Take A Morning Fly Above Griffith Park

Guy Hawk:  Oh, wow, check out that human.

Bitch Hawk:  Where?

Guy Hawk:  Down there.  That White Silverlake Hipsterdouche.  Note the robust ginger-hued mustache.  He looks so fucking free.  Not confined to the air.  He can just...walk.  Jesus, nature makes me want to nut.  I feel so refreshed out here.

Bitch Hawk:  Yeah, I'm getting sorta beat actually.  You wanna brunch at Alcove when we're done?

Guy Hawk: Umm.........Oh Shit!  Look at that formation of Chubby Working Class Mexicans!  A family I think!  See the little one!

Bitch Hawk:  Uhh, yeah.  Cool.

Guy Hawk:  The female just screamed and hit the little one!  Hard!  Wow!  The natural order is so beautifully fucking cutthroat.  Dude, this is getting me really warmed up for Joshua Tree with Gabe and Liz!  

Bitch Hawk:  Babe.

Guy Hawk:  Yeah.

Bitch Hawk: I'm really hungry.

Guy Hawk:  Yeah.  Hungry for...my cock.  Am I right? Ehh?

Bitch Hawk:  You have a cloaca, Josh.  Not a cock.

Guy Hawk:  Yeah.  I'm aware.  Trust me.  Cock sounds funnier.  All about rhythm, girl.  

Bitch Hawk: Just saying...

Guy Hawk:  Babe.

Bitch Hawk:  Yeah?

Guy Hawk:  You ever find it weird that we both have these like identical holes we pee and poo out of...that we then rub together to get each other off and that's like all we can do...sexually? Like am I on some weird trip or is this not some irrevocably fucked up shit?  Are we not the punchline of some horrific evolutionary joke?  I mean identical shitpeefuck holes?!  Really?!!

Bitch Hawk:  I don't know.  Seems pretty normal to me.

Guy Hawk:  Yeah.  I guess you're right.

Bitch Hawk:  Hey, did you remember to lock the Prius?

Guy Hawk:  Yep.
 

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