Monday, September 21, 2009


My roommate and I both have Blackberry Tours.

I just grabbed his thinking it was mine.

His latest text is from a girl saying "I just did a line of coke and am fingering myself."

Mine is from a rotund ginger-haired male acquaintance of a male friend saying "U wanna hit up Never Ending Pasta Bowl this week?"

At least I make more money than my roommate.

So much more that I lied and pretended he could actually afford a Tour and the accompanying monthly data plan just to give this little anecdote some kind of structuring device.

He has some shitty flip phone which I check whenever I'm bored.


Mr. Leah said...

beautifully structured

how do you make your kombucha? details please

Matt said...

Mr. Leah --

It is with great shame that I present you with the following email correspondence:

Matthew Patterson to Karen
show details Sep 25 (1 day ago)
Hey mom --

What's your home-brewed kombucha recipe? The one with orange juice?


karen patterson to me
show details 11:17 AM (1 hour ago)
You can pick it up tomorrow. No orange juice in the recipe. Just black tea, sugar and the kombucha starter liquid.
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