Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What Really Goes On With Penguins

Two penguins appear to be playing around near an ice cave and just being cute and shit.

Adorable Girl Penguin: I guess on some level every relationship I've had has been an attempt to replace my father. Like that sounds cliche. But it's extreme with me. Most of the penguins I've dated or even just hooked up with have looked slash been so much like him it's scary.

Creepy Penguin Therapist: Ahh. You know you're adorable. What's it like knowing everyone who sees you instantly finds you so attractive? How does it make you feel being so desired?

Adorable Girl Penguin: I don't know. That's not really one of my issues.

Creepy Penguin Therapist: I have tickets to the watch a bunch of flightless birds fight over fish match at the freezing cold pond tonight. If you want to come. I find that I can understand my patients' issues best when observing them in real social settings.

Adorable Girl Penguin: What? That's so unprofessional. Oh my God. Are you that retarded? I'm a smart fucking girl. I went to the penguin equivalent of Vassar. Oh and FYI, you're not nearly good looking enough to make the whole transference thing work.

Creepy Penguin Therapist: I want to screw you so bad, you slut.

Adorable Girl Penguin: Eww!!

Adorable Girl Penguin runs out of the cave and slams the ice sheet behind her.

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