Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Divorced Contractor with a Wispy Mustache Sleeps with a Non-Prostitute for the First Time Since His Wife Left Him

Spends $150 on the date.

Specifically does not joke to his friends that "Jeez, for $150, would have been easier to just get a hooker," because it was ultimately a really sweet, ego-boosting experience for him and he has no desire to tarnish it.

Dopamine rush inspires him to get a new Vizio at Costco. The picture's mediocre at best, but he doesn't notice.

Gets a Polish sausage while there.

Watches a lot of Sunday football over the next few months. Buys some satellite package or another. Doesn't enjoy the game as much as when he was with Laura and used to smoke passable pot out of an old fashioned tobacco pipe and was an alcoholic and could see all the good things in his life falling away from him like errant balls from an unskilled juggler.

Lives for another three decades, buying his final television in 2039. It's a piece of shit by the day's standards. But its resolution would make us weep if we could just see it now.

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