Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Two Presidents Have Differing Opinions on Period Sex

Example One:

Abraham Lincoln: Oh, wait, there's some kind of liquid all over me, hand me the candle so I can-- Oh, Jesus, there's blood all over the sheets! Fuck. I'm covered.

Mary Todd Lincoln: Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed. Do you want to stop?

Abraham Lincoln: Uhh, yes! Sorry...not trying to be unsupportive. Just totally not in the mood anymore. Eww, it smells all coppery. I'm really not happy about this. Sorry, I can like see myself from afar and realize I'm being insensitive. Should we wash up now?

Example Two:

Mistress: You're sure you don't mind that I'm...?

George H.W. Bush: Get that thing in my face.

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