Saturday, November 28, 2009

Zany Underemployed Closeted Homosexual With A Chip On His Shoulder Officially Ends His "Taco Litmus Test"

July, 2007. "Dude, honestly, official new rule. I call it the Taco Litmus Test. I'm going to take any girl I kinda like to the La Isla Bonita Taco Truck. It's super good. Real close to my crib. The roomies and I go after the bars close. So if the girl I'm with digs on the truck, Date 2. If not, guess it wasn't meant to be."

May, 2008. While waiting to pick him up a surprise chicken burrito from the truck, the guy's friendly, masculine girlfriend Katy is somehow lured into an alley and subsequently savagely beaten and raped by a sinewy, red-faced wino.

June, 2009. "Dude, what the hell?! I don't care how many shots you did. How could you even think it was cool to ask if I still do the Taco Litmus Test after what happened to Katy? I don't even know what to say to be honest. If you were in my position, and you first told me about the Taco Litmus Test you had, and then something terrible happened to your ex at the truck, I would never, never ask you if you still had a Taco Litmus Test. Dude, honestly, I'm bouncing. Like, let's talk about this when you've had time to think about just how friggin offensive it is to even mention the Taco Litmus Test."

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