Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Boring Commitment Phobe with Avoidant Personality Disorder and an Indian Fetish Names Top Five Moments of the Decade

5. Realizing that Sapna stocked Pringles in her cabinet. Foul. I could never date let alone go down on a girl whose skin cells -- and by extension pussy -- were in part made up of whatever matter forms Pringles.

4. Pretending I was sick during Reshmi's 21st birthday party. Didn't have to deal with any of her friends. Just stayed in her bed. Had fake sick sex when all the guests left. Could tell she was pretty hurt / disappointed with me. She broke up with me the next day, which I was secretly gunning for.

3. Reading a dull thirty-seven year old Los Angeles Times article on microfiche at my local library about the Kama Sutra but pretending to be really immersed so as to prevent the microfiche librarian from asking me any questions / engaging me / helping me.

2. Gray Davis getting recalled.

1. Being pretty unsupportive of Lahska during her father's death.

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