Okay, so you have that next brilliant BIG IDEA. You've pitched it to all your friends and family. They love it! What's next? A little thing called Outline Time. Now if you're trying to be the next indie darling, it was nice meeting you, good luck in all futures, have a safe trip home. But if you want to write a big, fun, satisfying commercial Hollywood movie, sit down and relax, because you've come to the right place. Listen up as I reveal THE three events that must occur in EVERY single great entertaining movie. If you watch closely, you'll see that these three events always occur, and on specific pages, in all of the great, successful films we love -- from The Godfather to Tootsie to Top Gun.
Event 1 (pp. 20-25): Girlfriend leaves.
Event 2 (pp. 50-65): Realize not cut out for writing and start teaching high school English to fuckable yet uninterested girls at Woodward Academy for the Arts and Sciences.
Event 3 (pp. 100-110): Die.