Monday, February 1, 2010

Augmented Reality Contact Lenses Will Change Everything

The year 2020...

A guy wearing augmented reality contact lenses is skull fucking a girl in her apartment. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Blake Bailey's Cheever biography. A text overlay gives him the book's price, ISBN, and date of publication.

He concludes skull fucking. Proceeds to eat girl out. Makes her cum.

Sleeps over.

Wakes up. Drinks juice. Says something abusive but playful on his way out.

Stops by farmer's market on way home. A text overlay informs him that an unattractive, introverted alt girl in line at the pupusa stand is friends with an insufferable Asian guy he sort of knew freshman year of college. He does not approach the girl.

Continues driving home. While nearing major intersection, he notices billboard for a new HBO comedy series. This is the last image he sees before a cobalt blue BMW 335i piloted by a dark eyed 17 year old girl plows into him and careens into a city bus, throwing her still beautiful, still beautiful, but shit it sure is dispiriting what metal and glass can do to human flesh okay no longer at all beautiful and in fact horribly disfigured this is fucking awful omg this is so sad body into the middle of the street.

A text overlay on her vehicle confirms that it is in fact cobalt blue.

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