Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sociopathic Hipster Wakes Up And Wants Coffee
No mugs in the cabinet. Check dishwasher. Six clean ones. Know my wife is going to want coffee too, so the normal thing to do would be to take out two mugs at the very least -- and even this would be a lil niggardly. But the thing is, I only need one mug. And if I just help myself and everyone else is totally on their own, I win. And what does it even feel like for another human being who isn't me to want ready access to a coffee mug? More importantly, what does it matter? So I reach to take just one mug. That's right. One -- and only one -- mug. But shit, wife's coming into the kitchen. Eyes me. So I remove all six. Neatly place them in the cabinet in a little row. Smile at wife. Say something supportive. Cheerfully mask a galaxy of rage.