Saturday, April 17, 2010

Here is a Facebook Picture of a Friend of an Acquaintance

This is a normal person's reaction to the picture: Tasty looking pies! Cute girl. Good cook. Little boobage. Sweet!

This is my reaction: Oh fuck, I can sense this is about to tap into my guilt over failing to develop as a cook. I had SOME interest in cooking when I was 18, more than your average 18 year old, okay, but I've let my skills atrophy in the intervening years, and now I'm at the bottom of my class cooking-wise! You know what, fuck this. Those pies don't even look good! I bet they taste bad. Or the recipe is shit. Handed down from some fat closeted-Lesbian midwestern relative who was a bad cook herself. There are probably some textural failures at play beneath the crust. Even if the pies taste alright, they're boring! A straight apple pie?! Who makes a straight apple pie these days? Boring people, that's who. And you know what else, her kitchen isn't very nice. She's probably poor! So I make more money than her AND appreciate more experimental desserts! And her hair looks thin! I hate her and her shit pies! I hate her pies! I hate her pies!

1 comment:

曾嘉慧 said...