Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Freaky Tuesday

Sat next to Luke Walton at lunch today at Le Pain Quotidien. That's right. Luke Walton and I -- same afternoon routine! We even had the same order. We're both soft-boiled egg guys! And then I wondered, what would happen if Luke and I switched bodies for the remainder of the day... Could I pass as Luke? If Phil tried to put me in the game against the T-Wolves tonight, would I take advantage of the once in a lifetime opportunity to play alongside Kobe and Pau even though that would mean blowing my cover and destroying Luke's reputation? Or would I just skip the game altogether and try to fuck groupies?

And what about Luke as me? Could he go to my underfunded local library, inwardly bemoan the lack of any newish literary fiction, walk home to my parents' house, send 2 uneventful text messages, nap, eat a Twix left over from Halloween, and half-heartedly watch Conan (East Coast feed) with my mom and dad without revealing whose mind was in my body?! Or would he just be like, fuck the library and Conan, I'm gonna try calling this girl Matt's dating and fuck her. Calling her. Ringing. She's slammed at work tonight? Unavailable? Great. Guess I could fly solo to the new Arclight in El Segundo. Nothing good's playing? Could still see Red or Hereafter and just nap again if I get bored. But I wonder if that would be risky? Would the two 71 year old movie buddy ladies in the front row notice and be like oh dear look at that guy who is minding his own business in the back row. Oh yes, the one politely shielding his iPhone glow whenever he checks an email... he's gently sighing, and, yes, wait, yes, he's starting to get a little heavy-lidded! I can see it! He seems a tad out of sorts! Oh yes! Something duplicitous must be going on there -- identity-wise!

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