Monday, November 1, 2010

November 3, 1992

Me: "My parents are both voting for Clinton today."

Extremely sensitive savant who's the only other kid in my class with any level of cultural awareness: "Oh, of course. But you know what my mom and I would really relish? A Boxer win!"

A What? A what win? Who the fuck is this Boxer? Was my Clinton reference too broad for you, you snob? Are you trying to one-up me, you always crying math-obsessed troll? Since when are we supposed to follow elections for people running for something that isn't president? We're 9! But don't you try and spin this like I'm some kind of lightweight. Do you know who Paul Tsongas is? Ehh? Ehh? Tsongas ring a bell?! Because it does for me! Oh yeah! And one more thing while we're at it... why are you using "relish" in that way? Look, I realize there's some double meaning or something at play here - I'm not an idiot - but I still don't get it. And all I want to talk about is CLINTON. Not Boxer and fucking relish!

Me: "Yeah, my family loves Boxer!"

No comments: