Dr. Berkey: When did you first notice the behavior change?
Abbe: About three weeks ago. Mr. Pookers started withdrawing. Becoming moody. Losing interest in everyday activities. Just not acting like himself. This was also coinciding with my boyfriend Josh breaking up with me. So maybe I was neglecting Mr. Pookers when he needed me most. Perhaps I exacerbated his condition.
Dr. Berkey: Mmmkay. I'm going to play with him a little now. Aww, Mr. Pookers. It's okay. Yeah, you're a loved little kitty, aren't you? That's right. It's okay to coo. Coo coo coo choo. We love you, baby Pookers.
Mr. Pookers: Meoww!
Dr. Berkey: Meoww right back atcha! You know, Mr. Pookers actually seems quite lively for an indoor cat his age. I think he's coming out of whatever bout of the blues you think he was in.
Abbe: No, no. I feel like you're just not getting an accurate portrayal. He stays in my bed all day. He's overeating. Just seems totally checked out. Maybe he misses Josh. Josh was good with him.
Dr. Berkey: Hmm. Yeah. You know, my honest professional opinion, Mr. Pookers really seems fine. Not lethargic at all. Bright eyes. Very responsive. He's a highly verbal cat.
Abbe: He's depressed.
Dr. Berkey: I'm afraid I don't see things that way--
Abbe: He went on a date with this asshole he met at yoga last week. First guy he's fucked since Josh. He's been having vaginal dryness issues. I don't know if it's perimenopause or just related to the depression. But the sex was fucking awful and it hurt and he's so sad. He's fucking lost and down and thinking about leaving the law and trying to find himself. And fears he never will. Please help him. Please help Mr. Pookers! Help Mr. Pookers!!!!